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Sex and relationship FAQs

At what point in a relationship should you start having sex?
It's not the relationship that determines when you start having sex it's you!  You should only have sex when you feel ready for it and when you trust your partner.  It's easy to let the media, your friends or even your partner make you feel that you should be having sex but actually you should only do it when you feel totally comfortable about it.  For some people this may mean being in a relationship for some time before they feel that the time is right for sex.

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My boyfriend says he will leave me if I don't have sex with him.
So what does that say about your relationship with him? Being in love means respecting each other and not doing thinks that make your partner feel uncomfortable. So..... if your boyfriend is trying to manipulate you into having sex does this demonstrate to you that he has your best interests at heart?

You shouldn't let anyone pressurise you into doing something you don't want to do and if he loves you he will understand that.

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Should I be worried if I'm 15 and still a virgin?
Despite what your friends might say the average age for first time sex is 17 which means that whilst some people do have sex before that age there are some that wait until they are even older.  Therefore there is definitely no need to worry about being a virgin at 15 because most people still are.  Jumping into sex before you are emotionally ready for it can cause all sorts of problems so wait until you are really sure about it.

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Is it wrong to have sex with my ex-girlfriend if I don't love her anymore?
Having sex is more than just physical satisfaction as it also effects us emotionally.  You may come across people who claim that they can have sex with people without becoming emotionally involved but for most people this just isn't possible. 

So , if you think you can go on having sex with you ex just because there is nobody else on the scene you will be storing up a whole load of emotional problems which will come to surface when one of you does get a new partner.

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Would my boyfriend get into trouble if we had sex? I'm 14 and he's 18?
At 14 you are under the age of consent ....... this means that in the eyes of the law you are technically too young to make an informed decision about whether you want to have sex or not.  Because of this any adult that has sex with you would be breaking the law and could be imprisoned for Child Sex Abuse. 

As your boyfriend is 18 he is an adult and would therefore be breaking the law if he started to have sex with you. Whether he would go to prison or not would depend on if the Police took him to court.

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My girlfriend's past sex life makes me feel bad.
More often than not people have more than one sexual partner before settling down with someone.  We can't change the past so there is no point in worrying about what went on before you met.  What is important is that she has chosen to be with you and that is all that should matter.  In fact you could say that choosing you after one or more previous partners makes you that much more special so you should put your energy into enjoying what you have now rather than dwelling on the past.

With people who have had previous sexual partners there may be concern about sexual transmitted infections so it is usually a good idea for both partners to get checked out before entering into a very intimate relationship where condoms are not used.  You can get checked by your Doctor or at a GUM clinic.

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I'm confused because my boyfriend made me have sex with him.
If you mean that he forced you to have sex with him against your wishes, this is rape and even if you are both in love it is not acceptable to force someone to do something they don't want to do.

Sometimes people think that because this has happened in what appeared to be a loving relationship that it was just a misunderstanding but if you made it quite clear that you did not want to have sex with him this is totally wrong.  You will probably need to speak to someone about this so take a look at our support services page to find out who you can speak to about this.  You should also consider talking to the Police about this as what he has done is a criminal offence and even though you may still love him it is important to stop him doing this again.

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